(Understanding perception, identity and the mental load of motherhood)

This week felt heavy.

Not just because of what I had to do.
But because of everything happening around it.

Family commitments.
Responsibilities.
Expectations.

And somewhere in the middle of all of that…

A thought kept coming back to me:

Am I being treated differently because I’m a single mum?

When the Thought Creeps In

It wasn’t loud.

It didn’t arrive as a clear statement.

It showed up in small moments.

The way things were said.
The way things weren’t said.
The way I felt I had to show up… just a little bit more.

And I found myself thinking:

Am I overthinking this?
Or is this real?

The Weight of Perception as a Single Mum

Being a single mum already comes with responsibility.

But sometimes it also comes with something else.

An unspoken narrative.

Not always direct.
Not always intentional.

But present enough to make you pause.

To make you question:

• How you’re being seen
• How you’re being valued
• Whether you have to prove more than others

This is a part of single mum life that isn’t always talked about.

The Role I’ve Always Carried

I’m also the firstborn.

And if you know, you know.

There’s a quiet expectation that comes with that role.

To be steady.
To be responsible.
To hold things together when things feel like they’re coming apart.

To be the one who understands.
The one who steps in.
The one who doesn’t need as much.

And this week…

I realised how much of that I’ve carried without even questioning it.

Because while I was showing up for everyone else…

There were moments I felt unseen.

Not in an obvious way.
Not in a way anyone would necessarily recognise.

But in a way that made me pause and think:

Am I always the one holding things together… without being held in the same way?

I’ve also started to reflect on how being the firstborn has shaped how I show up… but that’s a conversation I’ll come back to.

A Week That Made Me Reflect

This week pushed that thought to the surface.

Not because everything was negative.

But because everything felt… layered.

I was already managing:

• the day-to-day responsibilities
• the mental load of motherhood
• the constant thinking ahead

And then on top of that…

Came the awareness of how I might be perceived.

And that combination?

It’s heavy.

The Question I Had to Sit With

I had to ask myself something honestly:

Is this about how people see me… or how I’m interpreting it?

Because the truth is…

Not everything we feel comes from others.

Sometimes it’s:

• past experiences
• internalised narratives
• quiet insecurities that get triggered

The Shift (Even If It Was Small)

By the end of the week, I realised something important.

Whether the perception is real or not…

I get to decide what I do with it.

I could:

• sit in it
• question myself
• let it affect how I move

Or…

I could use it.

What Grounded Me

What helped me through this week wasn’t having all the answers.

It was my values.

The things I come back to, even when everything feels uncertain.

Consistency.
Character.
Integrity.

Because when things feel unclear externally…

That’s where I return internally.

Not to prove anything.
Not to defend myself.

But to stay aligned with who I am.

The Check I Had to Do

At the same time, I had to check myself.

Because it’s easy to focus on how things feel from the outside…

Without asking what’s happening within.

I had to ask:

Are my actions coming from a good place?
Am I reacting… or responding?
Am I staying true to myself… or being pulled by perception?

And that wasn’t always comfortable.

But it was necessary.

Why This Matters

Because consistency isn’t just about what you do when things are easy.

It’s about who you are when things feel off.

When you’re tired.
When you feel unseen.
When you’re questioning things.

That’s where character shows up.

Not in perfection.

But in how you choose to move forward anyway.

A Thought I Keep Coming Back To

Everyone is dealing with something.

Everyone has their own lens, their own experiences, their own challenges.

And sometimes what we feel from others…

Isn’t always about us.

💭 Reflection

• Where have I questioned myself based on how I think others see me?
• What am I carrying that might not fully belong to me?
• How do I want to show up, regardless of perception?
• What would it look like to move from self-doubt to self-direction?

💬 Final Thought (Part 1)

This week raised questions for me.

Not all of them comfortable.

But necessary.

And maybe the real growth…

Isn’t in having the answers straight away.

But in being willing to sit with the questions.

🔜 Part 2

In Part 2, I’ll be exploring something deeper:

What the world gets wrong about single mums… and what I’ve come to understand instead.